Today I passed a willow tree and wanted to stand next to it, sink my roots into the earth and spread my hands to the sky, reveling in the warmth and peace that I found by the water…and I realized that, for my soul, it is spring.

For the longest time, I’ve had a blog on LiveJournal. Going back through it recently as I attempted to make all of the posts friends-only, I realized that I’d outgrown it. Everything I’d written was true, but it was all from a person who no longer really exists. I’ve become someone new. And while that’s not a bad thing, I wanted a change to represent that.

I thought about just opening up another account at LJ, starting over…but I feel like I’ve grown past that site in general. I have several friends who have blogs on this site, and I’ve always liked the feel of it when reading theirs, so I decided to try it out.

I’m determined to post here at least once a week. Not about particulars in my life, necessarily, but about anything that might be on my mind. I need to write more, and this will help.

I call this blog “Coming Back to Life” because that’s what I’m doing right now – school, faith, self…I’m rediscovering myself and opening to the world. Emotionally and spiritually, I have been dormant through the cold and dark recent period, but now I can feel the blood warming in my veins. I’m putting out shoots and turning my face towards the sun. I want to twist and stretch and grow past this shell I’ve been in for so long. 

Most of my walls are still up, true, and they probably always will be. There’s only so much burning and breaking you can take without being permanently scarred. Scars aren’t always bad, though. I’ve grown stronger and harder, but I still long for the sun and bend in the breeze. I haven’t died off. To survive, sometimes you have to harden yourself. That doesn’t mean that you stop caring or stop having a love of life.

And I love it…I long for more, crave more. There are so many wonderful possibilities, and I want to experience as many as I can.

I finally feel alive again.